Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. ~ Harriet Tubman
Originally, I was going to focus on Reinvention, but in real life, just how many of us are capable of totally reinventing ourselves? The definition alone is a bit scary – the process through which something is changed so much that it appears to be entirely new! I admire those individuals that leave their careers and, for the most part, comfortable lives and venture into the complete unknown. It could be a breakthrough tech idea that turns into a successful startup. A decision to take a position with a nonprofit that changes life, location, and the everyday view of the world. The reinventors have a maverick gene. It is that bit of DNA that will take them into, in some cases, uncharted territory and they will flourish.
What about the rest of us?
Many of us are old hands at Reintegration. Which by the way, has a less fearful definition – to restore to unity, to incorporate, to organize. Over the years we have had to unify our experiences for a new job, a new lifestyle, maybe marriage, maybe babies. We take what we know and incorporate it in with what we ‘think’ we might need. Most important we mix it in with our accumulated knowledge, our creativity, and our desire to change it up. All these combined can guide us through new job environments, new loves, surroundings, and friends. We are reintegrating. We are unifying our knowledge and experience.
There are varying points of view about retirement. There are those that continue to ignore the inescapable passage of time. To ignore the inevitable is to leave yourself open to someone else’s decision about your future. This might bring a person to the point where they have to totally re-invent themselves to survive or move to another career – if they can. Those that have been mentally preparing for this evolution of retirement to begin have the advantage.
They can decide, ahead of time how and when it will begin. It will begin, make no doubt. If we have a plan, our attitude toward the process and our ability to reintegrate, to consolidate our life experiences make the transition less disruptive. We already know what totally different attitudes we have toward aging and our futures. We know, that we have many more options than past generations. How it works out, is pretty much up to us. I think this and marriage are the two biggest decisions we will make that have major life changing ramifications.
I’ve only retired recently. Yes, I love it. Yes, I did plan for it.
I knew I would not be looking to reinvent my life, I had already done that a few times. Which most of us do when we are just starting out in the world. I did have multiple careers in vastly different businesses throughout my work life. In those years I was not reinventing myself with each new career, I was reintegrating. I’m really not a reinventor, even though my resume would argue that statement.
When I left my easy-breezy lifestyle in Waikiki Beach, Hawaii, I was 21and headed for the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles. I had no plans, other than to find a job. That move turned out to be my first experience and acknowledgment that, at times, we do have to change/reinvent to adapt. For me, it was my new fast-paced LA lifestyle. I was too young to have a lot of life experiences, so I went with the flow. But all the while, unbeknownst to me, I was accumulating knowledge, gaining life experiences observing a multitude of lifestyles. The search for who I am and the life I am destined to live was underway. So much was new. I guess you can say I was inventing a new maturing Kate. At the time I was also integrating my original values, my life view with all the new experiences enabling me to adapt to a new environment. What do you think – inventing or integrating? Or was it a combination of both?
Our youthful nativity can be compared to our aged [like a good wine] maturity. In that, there are those that will gleefully, almost 100% change their lives when they retire. We all know someone like this. It’s the reinventor, the maverick. Yes, they’ll send us postcards, wishing we were there with them. It sounds good, even though you know they don’t mean it. Most of us go for the road more traveled. We do not want to begin anew. We want to tweak our options with the reality of who we are, mixed in with a dash of daring, a pinch of creativity, and whatever your personal secreat sause is for happiness. We are the reintigrators.
You know, just to be clear, the reinventors have to be applauded. It’s a brave soul that will venture into the unknown. The unknown is always uncharted territory and radical lifestyle changes are not for everyone. Some will settle for less radical changes but will stick with the maverick team lead by the spirit of adventure.
I live in a foreign country with many international ex-pats. I am surrounded by both inventors and integrators. The common thread – we are all here – far from our homelands making a commitment to a new life. Most surprising to me is the vast variety of single women. Talk about reinventing yourself – coming to a foreign country is one thing, but coming without knowing anyone here and in some instances not speaking the language – that truly is the spirit of adventure and courage. All of us will retire from one thing or another. We will, to varying degrees, test our capacity for change – change will do you good, as the song says. Those of us with a curiosity about life will also have an inner belief in ourselves. That believe will propel us to places we never thought we would go – until we did. For most of us, we are either retired or thinking about it. Tell me, is that long time friend you see every morning in the mirror a reinventor or a reintegrator – or – perhaps a hybrid?
I would love to know your stories about retirement. Are you daydreaming about it? Researching it? Are you there already? One more thing. Calling all of you single gals, please tell us your stories.
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